disclaimers
LookHere!
Lala &
Pessimist
We are RETARDED.
We are RANDOM.
We love Paramore and causing MAYHEM
Therefore we are RIOTERS.
WARNING!
THIS BLOG MAY CAUSE
UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER.
Have a great day.
:D
Thoughts.
Monday, September 02, 2013 @ 11:16 PM
I don't know exactly why I am writing a post but I guess it's because I have no idea what to feel about everything. You left the group again and without an explanation and I know you said sorry but what exactly are you apologising for? I thought you could tell me everything and I thought I could do the same. But this year has proved that life isn't all that simple and honestly I thought I had lost you. Then you came back and I had some hope (I always had hope.) that things would go back to normal.
Except that I don't know you anymore.
You said yourself, who you are now has nothing to do with the past. Things change, I get it, I have too. I want to understand what you are going through yet every time I try I hit a dead end. Distance puts strain on a relationship. Maybe it's me for not being someone who can take the initiative, or keep up a long distance communications thing. Maybe it's because I've learnt to live with silence, so much so that it sounds better than noise now. I forget that silence doesn't say anything it just is. Passive. Stagnant. Existing. All those times I kept quiet for fear of saying something I would regret ended up turning into something ambiguous and difficult to interpret. You probably thought I was choosing to ignore. I was silent because I had nothing to say, only resigned acceptance.
I could live my whole life not understanding whatever it is you're going through. That's the beauty and horror of a human life, the connections are there or they are not. Feelings on the other hand, something you deal within yourself, cannot be denied. I still care about your well-being. Just that now I will have to care from a distance. I have my own life to worry about. I hope you remember that I have my own set of problems that are mine to deal with. Sometimes you overlook that. Sure it may seem like I have other friends to lean on, other issues that I don't share with you but those separate experiences have their separate problems. After a good portion of our 16 years alive spent in constant proximity the sudden gulf in between is something to get used to.
I guess that's most of what I feel like saying. Only one more bit about how I am trying to be a better version of myself and surrounding myself with positive energy, with motivation and inspiration and being kind to myself and others. Adopting a learning attitude that focuses on gaining knowledge and sharing it whilst being fair and humble. Keeping my thoughts to myself except when I am ignorant. I am prioritising my health and well-being. At times your negative energy is in direct contrast with this and I will step away. That's why I feel like caring from a distance is also a good idea.
Hope all is well for you.
Except that I don't know you anymore.
You said yourself, who you are now has nothing to do with the past. Things change, I get it, I have too. I want to understand what you are going through yet every time I try I hit a dead end. Distance puts strain on a relationship. Maybe it's me for not being someone who can take the initiative, or keep up a long distance communications thing. Maybe it's because I've learnt to live with silence, so much so that it sounds better than noise now. I forget that silence doesn't say anything it just is. Passive. Stagnant. Existing. All those times I kept quiet for fear of saying something I would regret ended up turning into something ambiguous and difficult to interpret. You probably thought I was choosing to ignore. I was silent because I had nothing to say, only resigned acceptance.
I could live my whole life not understanding whatever it is you're going through. That's the beauty and horror of a human life, the connections are there or they are not. Feelings on the other hand, something you deal within yourself, cannot be denied. I still care about your well-being. Just that now I will have to care from a distance. I have my own life to worry about. I hope you remember that I have my own set of problems that are mine to deal with. Sometimes you overlook that. Sure it may seem like I have other friends to lean on, other issues that I don't share with you but those separate experiences have their separate problems. After a good portion of our 16 years alive spent in constant proximity the sudden gulf in between is something to get used to.
I guess that's most of what I feel like saying. Only one more bit about how I am trying to be a better version of myself and surrounding myself with positive energy, with motivation and inspiration and being kind to myself and others. Adopting a learning attitude that focuses on gaining knowledge and sharing it whilst being fair and humble. Keeping my thoughts to myself except when I am ignorant. I am prioritising my health and well-being. At times your negative energy is in direct contrast with this and I will step away. That's why I feel like caring from a distance is also a good idea.
Hope all is well for you.
Labels: Pessimist
Winter.
Sunday, August 25, 2013 @ 10:36 PM
Let’s say we both believe
That maybe all we need is time
Then maybe truthfully
We will be perfectly aligned
That maybe all we need is time
Then maybe truthfully
We will be perfectly aligned
I don’t care what they say
I am already awake
My hands are shaking for you
For you
Labels: Lala
.
Thursday, August 22, 2013 @ 8:08 PM
and no, i don't mean a cute boy to hug us each but but but but YOU GET THE POINT
Labels: Lala
i will find you here.
@ 8:03 PM
I think this, is just what we all need right now.
Labels: Lala
I tried.
Tuesday, July 09, 2013 @ 10:52 PM
I guess this would be my explanation. I have been planning to write this since last Saturday but I never got to use the computer and using my phone just annoys me to no end.
Just to make things crystal clear, I don't hate you Lidiya. I'm not even mad at you. The entire time this was playing out I only thought of 'See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil.' Because all the things you were saying about Brenda hurt me. I pretended it didn't exist and refused to reply to whatever you said out of fear that I would say something I would later regret but mostly because it hurt. There is just too much pain. It sucks because I told you that I never want to hear about your feelings toward Brenda.
That last day we walked home together I was being honest to the point of tears, that it fucking sucks that my two favourite people in the world cannot see eye to eye anymore, but I would get over it as long as you didn't mention it to me or say that I was picking sides. I never picked a side. No one is more important than the other and asking me to choose is like me asking you to choose which parent you would save if ever it came down to it. So all those hurtful words... It was disregard for your promise and it was also a way of saying that you do not trust me enough or know me well enough to think that I could ever be stolen by someone or turned against someone out of my own free will.
With that being said, I miss you. I've known you practically since birth and although we've never gotten along that well from the get go, we learned how to. We sniped and fought and hurt each other but all those times we also made up. The last two years in Cedar was spent with you right there beside me. I thought break ups were bad but breaking up with a friend is way worse.
I feel responsible for all that has happened between you and Brenda, I am not even sure why but I do. Again, bringing in the parents thing, I compared your falling out to a divorce with me being caught in the middle. I tried to fix you two, I listened to both sides, I wracked my brains with possible solutions because I could not fathom you two being against each other because you've always been beside me. But in life, things do not turn out how you expect them to. Just look at where we are now.
History is starting to repeat itself because my MJ friends are fighting and there is tension and I am once again, caught in the whirlwind of it all. I'm not sure what to do because fighting for things didn't work, standing to one side and praying everything will fall into place didn't work either and what good does crying do? I guess I just have to take things as they come and try to tell myself that I am in no way responsible, that my other friends are still here for me and life will go on.
I hope your life is good right now. Do take care.
Just to make things crystal clear, I don't hate you Lidiya. I'm not even mad at you. The entire time this was playing out I only thought of 'See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil.' Because all the things you were saying about Brenda hurt me. I pretended it didn't exist and refused to reply to whatever you said out of fear that I would say something I would later regret but mostly because it hurt. There is just too much pain. It sucks because I told you that I never want to hear about your feelings toward Brenda.
That last day we walked home together I was being honest to the point of tears, that it fucking sucks that my two favourite people in the world cannot see eye to eye anymore, but I would get over it as long as you didn't mention it to me or say that I was picking sides. I never picked a side. No one is more important than the other and asking me to choose is like me asking you to choose which parent you would save if ever it came down to it. So all those hurtful words... It was disregard for your promise and it was also a way of saying that you do not trust me enough or know me well enough to think that I could ever be stolen by someone or turned against someone out of my own free will.
With that being said, I miss you. I've known you practically since birth and although we've never gotten along that well from the get go, we learned how to. We sniped and fought and hurt each other but all those times we also made up. The last two years in Cedar was spent with you right there beside me. I thought break ups were bad but breaking up with a friend is way worse.
I feel responsible for all that has happened between you and Brenda, I am not even sure why but I do. Again, bringing in the parents thing, I compared your falling out to a divorce with me being caught in the middle. I tried to fix you two, I listened to both sides, I wracked my brains with possible solutions because I could not fathom you two being against each other because you've always been beside me. But in life, things do not turn out how you expect them to. Just look at where we are now.
History is starting to repeat itself because my MJ friends are fighting and there is tension and I am once again, caught in the whirlwind of it all. I'm not sure what to do because fighting for things didn't work, standing to one side and praying everything will fall into place didn't work either and what good does crying do? I guess I just have to take things as they come and try to tell myself that I am in no way responsible, that my other friends are still here for me and life will go on.
I hope your life is good right now. Do take care.
Labels: Pessimist
Italy!
Tuesday, June 04, 2013 @ 6:37 PM
Goodbye, Singapore.
:-)
Saturday, June 01, 2013 @ 9:56 PM
 |
| I did a thing. I really like how we're both smiling here ❤❤❤ |
Let's talk about time.
@ 9:33 PM
Look at us. We've been living for circa 1000 years. And yet we haven't found the best cure for the worst things that happen to us in life other than time. Training our human condition to accept and forgive and (re)learn how we go about each waking moment.
Time helps us to forget. It helps to gloss over the salt washed cuts that people have either unknowingly or intentionally carved into our skins. It remembers the hazy soft hued memories. It paints the past with hindsight and the period of going over a incident a thousand times. There are some stuff that escapes the crazy claws of time however. Those are perhaps the most valuable bits.
But time is our ultimate downfall. The longer you spend with someone, the harder it will be to forget them. Because after a while two people start molding the way they behave to the other person. Relationships are about the interacting, the connecting, the feeling. You could reach that level of emotional security where you don't know what you would do without them. The strength of physical distance cannot compare with the pull of long years on end.
Sometimes though, it's not about how long you spend with someone, but how you spend it. Funny how it took me so long just to realise it. I'm pretty sure I'm not even a little bit done with this whole concept of a warped cyclic blanket thing but I don't ever want to be done. I want to continue discovering how it works and laugh because it makes no sense and never will.
[Will you still love me when I got nothing
but my aching soul?]
- Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist
nonetheless
@ 7:53 PM
Sometimes, I feel like you're the only thing that ever keeps me going anymore.
Simply your existence motivates me. And I know that there's always a tomorrow to look forward to. And thought it's difficult to remind myself with all the crazy going on, I know for sure that there'll always be another hello.
Simply your existence motivates me. And I know that there's always a tomorrow to look forward to. And thought it's difficult to remind myself with all the crazy going on, I know for sure that there'll always be another hello.
You really mean the world to me.
Labels: Lala
sing me to sleep.
@ 7:39 PM
sometimes, I just can't understand why I feel so strongly.
And I seem to be the only one around who feels or understands as such.
will i fall back into that stage again?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013 @ 11:09 PM
I miss you~
Labels: Lala
Look at me.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013 @ 9:19 PM
I have to tell myself not to be jealous.
Because some things were never truly mine to take in the first place.
I have to stop being insecure.
And tell myself
that it's truly time to just
Accept.
Labels: Lala
Here We Are Again.
Sunday, May 26, 2013 @ 7:39 PM
Well this feels like a trip into the past haha. Ahhh good old days when I would have to ask my parents to turn on the computer for me because it was password protected. Oh wait. That still happens. Ugh some things never change.
2013 has been a bitch so far but it also taught me a few good lessons and I realise that I like learning a lot more than I thought I did. My stance on exams stays the same though (where got time sial~~~) JC life is a crazy stressball of events that never stop coming straight for you. Thank goodness for the people I have around me.
Well, I have 3 essays to write and an eom to send that was due two and a half hours ago. Tomorrow is Monday and Mondays suck. But I am glad to be back.
[You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium.]
- Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist
IT'S BEEN FOREVER.
@ 7:06 PM
Oh woooooooooowwwwwww. It's been so long since we last updated this blog. EVERYTHING has been left exactly the way it used to be. Oh my :>
I don't really have much to say, just that I went to a wedding today and my shoe broke and i wasted a lot of time censoring many of the old posts ummm yeah haha.
I don't have the heart to delete anything here :> Good old sec1 memories :) Even though the language I used was terrible. So embarrassing, I'm disgusted by myself even.
Haha, oh well that's it? Yup that's it! :D
Haha, oh well that's it? Yup that's it! :D
- Lala
Labels: Lala
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD
Saturday, July 30, 2011 @ 3:58 PM
It's all because of you.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011 @ 8:51 PM
Sarahhhhhh. This blog is 100% for ONLY both of us to read okay? No one else.
Just a form of communication between ourselves.
Labels: Lala
Good stuff.
Monday, June 27, 2011 @ 11:19 PM
On another hand I always try to be grateful for something everyday so
- We revived the blog whoopee.
- I had Earl Grey frozen yoghurt which I only had to pay less than $3 for.
- I spent recess laughing and talking with Bren Sihui and Sharifah.
- Results didn't totally crush me.
- I got chocolates from Barcelona and a moose keychain from Finland.
- Talked to Huda lololol she always keeps me entertained.
- Ranted shit with Bren cos we are mtf sad crazy people.
- Okay she just texted me first ehehehe
- Hugs hugs hugs all around.
- Me and my bung army we are invincible~
- LIKE A VIRGIN/OOOH/TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME~
- egg sandwiches is da sexxx
- short hair is also da sexxx
- I like coffee
- I love you lidiya
okay bye I feel better already.
[heaven knows I'm miserable now]
Labels: Pessimist
God, give me strength.
@ 11:08 PM
Definition of impossible: Trying to get someone to give a fuck.
Everyone seems to expect so much from me, I expect a lot from myself but I do not act on that knowledge. Why?
Simple. I am a lazy fucktard with no self discipline. Somehow it doesn't occur to me that life is not easy, that I have to put in effort, and that I'm wasting my life away. Which is useless. There are people out there who would give their limbs to be where I am, loving family and friends, an education, means to get by and I am comfortable and safe and healthy. And I'm not making the most of it.
Sometimes I think I'm unworthy really. Even in my own eyes and hey I don't mean to sound like a sad sod with no self esteem whatsoever, personally those people annoy me shitless at times, but it's the sad sad truth. I'm given the world and I take the good bits and abandon the rest.
Spilling this because it's been spinning in my head I'm supposed to write on my tumblr but I can't find the words but they have to come out somewhere or I will not sleep tonight.
Destruction is creation I strongly believe in that philosophy and so when they deemed my essay as unworthy of better marks, of which I am all too aware I am capable of, of which a hell of a lot of people simply assumed I would receive, and the ink was burning into my brain: hahaha. So if those words were so unworthy of their marks it is even less so in my mind and it's presence bothered me so I ripped it into two.
The sharp tear kind of registered a little too late and there was an unpleasantly satisfying vindication. Hovered between simple apathy and plain relief. Then I decided that it wasn't enough and throughly maimed the paper into quarters and eighths and twelfths? Consequences were secondary anyway.
Bottom line moral of today's story, you can't force me to give a fuck.
Everyone seems to expect so much from me, I expect a lot from myself but I do not act on that knowledge. Why?
Simple. I am a lazy fucktard with no self discipline. Somehow it doesn't occur to me that life is not easy, that I have to put in effort, and that I'm wasting my life away. Which is useless. There are people out there who would give their limbs to be where I am, loving family and friends, an education, means to get by and I am comfortable and safe and healthy. And I'm not making the most of it.
Sometimes I think I'm unworthy really. Even in my own eyes and hey I don't mean to sound like a sad sod with no self esteem whatsoever, personally those people annoy me shitless at times, but it's the sad sad truth. I'm given the world and I take the good bits and abandon the rest.
Spilling this because it's been spinning in my head I'm supposed to write on my tumblr but I can't find the words but they have to come out somewhere or I will not sleep tonight.
Destruction is creation I strongly believe in that philosophy and so when they deemed my essay as unworthy of better marks, of which I am all too aware I am capable of, of which a hell of a lot of people simply assumed I would receive, and the ink was burning into my brain: hahaha. So if those words were so unworthy of their marks it is even less so in my mind and it's presence bothered me so I ripped it into two.
The sharp tear kind of registered a little too late and there was an unpleasantly satisfying vindication. Hovered between simple apathy and plain relief. Then I decided that it wasn't enough and throughly maimed the paper into quarters and eighths and twelfths? Consequences were secondary anyway.
Bottom line moral of today's story, you can't force me to give a fuck.
[There's a light and it never goes out.]
And we are backkkkkkkkkk!
@ 10:33 PM
TODAY 27th June 2011, we are finally deciding to revive this blog! (:
Yesss alright. Today was a shittay day with results and all.
BUT WHO CARES LETS GO ONTO IMPORTANT THINGS.
DONT YOU THINK THEY ARE SO DAMN ADORABLEE KLASNFKSANFKSA (:(:(: OKAY
School sucks a lot. There's choir tmr! Partly excited. Mehh.
Okay im having a depressing sms conversation right now. I feel like crap. K bye.
Labels: Lala
Let it burn.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011 @ 7:20 PM
2011 so far seems to be made up of mainly looking back.
Looking back at 2009.
I've never really said this out loud, even to myself but I fucking wasted 2009 away.
Wasted it as if I could get it all again.
I would do anything to return to those innocent lovely times.
Return to the time where I was enough for somebody.
Travel through impossibilities to relive my life properly.
Love that person back with all I could and not break her.
Looking back at 2009.
I've never really said this out loud, even to myself but I fucking wasted 2009 away.
Wasted it as if I could get it all again.
I would do anything to return to those innocent lovely times.
Return to the time where I was enough for somebody.
Travel through impossibilities to relive my life properly.
Love that person back with all I could and not break her.
I guess karma truly exists. Now I'm the one that's hurting. And I trawl desperately, pathetically through the only documented history left to me, to remember the good times, to slap myself again and again for the stupid mistake I made. Funnily enough, I seem to have ended up on some warped reality because I have taken her place, and she, mine. I yearn for everything to fall into place and just let me be happy oh please let me get what I want this time.
failing my music exam tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011 @ 8:44 PM
I'm still here.
Sigh, Sarah this place is DEADDDDDDDDD.
And I like eggs.
I just suffered from heartbreak.
Sigh.
Okay bye.
Sigh, Sarah this place is DEADDDDDDDDD.
And I like eggs.
I just suffered from heartbreak.
Sigh.
Okay bye.
So you're fifteen now.
Saturday, February 19, 2011 @ 9:28 PM
Happy Birthday Lala,
I guess that's what you'll always be to me, fellow rioter, my bandmate, my cousin.
Eventhough we barely act like we're related at times.
Why though? Sigh. You don't talk to me, and I don't talk to you and it's a weird vicious cycle
And you annoy me and I annoy you, need I go on?
Anyway, I wanted to wish you well because you're a year older and you're supposed to be wiser.
I say supposed to because I dunno, I believe you can change anytime, you don't automatically get a makeover once your birthday comes around. Yeah, I know your life is kinda hard, everyone's life is hard.
But we all press on. Endure the pain and all that. Learn new things everyday. Look back at the past quite frequently.
So yeah, enjoy life more. There's always, always something to smile about at the end of most horrible day, like the fact that you're still alive and breathing. So you won't actually want to be breathing if it was actually that bad but hey, there are lots of people in your life who love you and need you so don't ever let that thought cross your mind.
Eat chocolates, play your various instruments, sleep more, seize the day, laugh until your sides ache.
TIME TO FEED YOUR EGO
I THINK YOU ARE HILARIOUS, SUPER TALENTED AND ODD SAMPAI KE TAHAP MAKSIMA. AND I LOVE FOOD OKAY WE SHOULD GO GET FOOD ONE DAY. I THINK YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE FOR A SPAZZ THINGY OKAY I'M SURE MANY PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO HIRE YOU. AND PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE VERY PRETTY OKAY SO MUST SMILE MORE.
KAY TIME IS OVER.
I guess I'm sorry for all the shit I did but yeah. Sigh. We should talk about this right? I leave it up to you.
Hope you enjoyed your birthday and yeah, I really want to jam together soon. Jiayou for cts, whatever that comes your way.
Your fellow retarded rioter,
Pessimist
I guess that's what you'll always be to me, fellow rioter, my bandmate, my cousin.
Eventhough we barely act like we're related at times.
Why though? Sigh. You don't talk to me, and I don't talk to you and it's a weird vicious cycle
And you annoy me and I annoy you, need I go on?
Anyway, I wanted to wish you well because you're a year older and you're supposed to be wiser.
I say supposed to because I dunno, I believe you can change anytime, you don't automatically get a makeover once your birthday comes around. Yeah, I know your life is kinda hard, everyone's life is hard.
But we all press on. Endure the pain and all that. Learn new things everyday. Look back at the past quite frequently.
So yeah, enjoy life more. There's always, always something to smile about at the end of most horrible day, like the fact that you're still alive and breathing. So you won't actually want to be breathing if it was actually that bad but hey, there are lots of people in your life who love you and need you so don't ever let that thought cross your mind.
Eat chocolates, play your various instruments, sleep more, seize the day, laugh until your sides ache.
TIME TO FEED YOUR EGO
I THINK YOU ARE HILARIOUS, SUPER TALENTED AND ODD SAMPAI KE TAHAP MAKSIMA. AND I LOVE FOOD OKAY WE SHOULD GO GET FOOD ONE DAY. I THINK YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE FOR A SPAZZ THINGY OKAY I'M SURE MANY PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO HIRE YOU. AND PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE VERY PRETTY OKAY SO MUST SMILE MORE.
KAY TIME IS OVER.
I guess I'm sorry for all the shit I did but yeah. Sigh. We should talk about this right? I leave it up to you.
Hope you enjoyed your birthday and yeah, I really want to jam together soon. Jiayou for cts, whatever that comes your way.
Your fellow retarded rioter,
Pessimist
Labels: Lala's 15th Birthday
The innocence we had could never last forever.
Friday, June 11, 2010 @ 8:59 AM
I've realised how dumb so many of my posts last year were.
Sigh, whatever.
I'd rather not delete them.
Even with the high risk of certain people reading them.
Labels: Lala
Bang Your Head Against The Wall.
Monday, May 31, 2010 @ 10:48 PM
Hello.
ZOMG this dlog is so bead.
O:
I really have to kill Lidiya, seriously.
Anyway, I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore so yeah.
It's quite sad.
But Lidiya only doesn't want to post cos too many people read it.
Personally I don't get it.
I mean the point of the blog is for people to read it.
But whatever.
But whatever.
I want to go running at east coast park.
Okay, I just want to run.
Not very picky about who I jog with.
Ahem, provided they're alive.
Okay, I just want to run.
Not very picky about who I jog with.
Ahem, provided they're alive.
Inside joke, hahaha.
I actually did some work today, yay me.
Half of math holiday homework DONE.
Awesome awesome awesome.
Awesome awesome awesome.
Gibbles, I had no idea math equations were useful for stuff
Other than finding out how far a ball is from the ground at 10 seconds.
Good to know.
Library library on Thursday, wheee.
Alright sleep time now. Night night.
[So mfuggers, if I owe you,
I'll blow you to smithereens.]
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Thumb Injury.
Monday, May 17, 2010 @ 7:55 PM
Hello.
Is it even possible to have a thumb injury and get a thumb cast?
Cos my thumb hurts. ):
I've been messaging people too much lately. HAHAHAHAHA.
I am sooo pfssssh right now. And I don't know why. Sigh.
Thinking too much lately. Which isn't good. But it's normal.
Superficial. I've been hearing this word a lot these days.
What exactly does it mean, besides the definition in the dictionary?
Are we all superficial? I think we are. Not entirely.
But some people are definitely more superficial than others.
We do certain things like,
Just talking about unimportant stuff, hanging out with the same people,
Thinking solely of our petty problems and materialistic wants.
Come on people.
Let's not be labeled as bimbos and airheads.
We're much more than that.
Okay, I should stop philosophising.
Goodnight.
[Hey baby,
I'm a rockstar.]
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Peek Round Corners.
Sunday, May 09, 2010 @ 9:02 PM
Hello.
Some days I wish that people could lose their mouths and
just use their ears.
Anyway, how are you readers of this half dead blog.
I'm fine, thank you.
I know I neglected to blog about CGT and cross country and this whole week
But I'm still alive. (:
CTs are officially starting on Tuesday and I'm actually studying.
HAHAHA. Why does that make me sound so slacky. Pfsssh.
I went to the library today. I wanted to borrow books so badly.
Sigh. I shall wait until CTs are over.
Then I'll go and borrow 8 books. :D
But June will be horrible.
I have SYF rehearsals, choir, IPW and some other crap.
I have SYF rehearsals, choir, IPW and some other crap.
So it'll be filled with nonsense and less time for fun.
Let's not forget the fact that
The teachers will probably dump truckloads of homework on us.
The teachers will probably dump truckloads of homework on us.
Crap. Sometimes, I really hate holidays.
At least when you're in school, you can moan that you don't have time.
During the hols, they won't believe a word you say.
Am I ranting today? I sound like I am.
I'm quite irritated. As usual. But I hate thinking about stuff nowadays.
It's such a waste of time you know?
Worrying about minor things that hardly matter.
I'm just going to laugh and shrug it off.
It'll be hard sometimes,
And maybe I'll end up bursting,
And maybe I'll end up bursting,
But I still wouldn't care.
I am not making sense right now.
I'll post again soon.
Good luck for your CTs people. Byeee.
[There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
And when you're staring at the phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back.]
And when you're staring at the phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back.]
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Here goes my fare thee well
Saturday, May 08, 2010 @ 5:57 PM
Could We Go Back There?
Together once again?
Memories.
Alto 1 ♥
Czech Republic
&
Vienna
♥
Labels: Alto One ♥
Deserving
Saturday, May 01, 2010 @ 11:16 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU! (:
*look how unglam i am, HAHA*
Hope you enjoy today! You really deserve it after all the hard work you've put in this week. And all the stress etc youve been through!
ENJOY YOUR FIRST DAY AS A 14-year-old kays? (;
The time of our lives.
Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 8:05 PM
The Most Amazing Groupmates Ever ♥
Misfits&Riots♥
Here's what I wrote on my FB thank you note:
THANK YOU GUYS!! oh gosh. None of this would've been possible without every one of you (: Thank you all for giving your best last night! (Well, even though we DID screw up a few parts!) Thank you so much for tolerating my constant "PRACTICE YOUR PARTS KAY?!", for being patient with me when I get annoyed if you mess up your part, for all the hard work and effort, for trying out both new AND difficult things for the sake of our group.
And as we said as we watched the audition clip last night,
"I wish we could go through this all over again."
Misfits&Riots♥! Thank you for everything.
So what's in for us after CGT?
(:
Misfits&Riots♥
Here's what I wrote on my FB thank you note:
THANK YOU GUYS!! oh gosh. None of this would've been possible without every one of you (: Thank you all for giving your best last night! (Well, even though we DID screw up a few parts!) Thank you so much for tolerating my constant "PRACTICE YOUR PARTS KAY?!", for being patient with me when I get annoyed if you mess up your part, for all the hard work and effort, for trying out both new AND difficult things for the sake of our group.
And as we said as we watched the audition clip last night,
"I wish we could go through this all over again."
Misfits&Riots♥! Thank you for everything.
So what's in for us after CGT?
(:
I wish we could repeat this whole week all over again and again.
It was the most amazing week of my life.
It made up for all the bad things that happened this month.
It really did.
May, here we come.
Here we come.
Hey Baby. 6 more months.
5 more, in 4 hours time.
It was the most amazing week of my life.
It made up for all the bad things that happened this month.
It really did.
May, here we come.
Here we come.
Hey Baby. 6 more months.
5 more, in 4 hours time.
Labels: Lala
Empty Buses.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 6:45 PM
Hello.
48 HOURS UNTIL THURSDAY.
I sort of can't wait. Sort of.
Half day was greattt.
Nabilah, Rachel Lee, Yasmin and me took 135 to PP.
We were totally alone in the bus and guess what we did.
We started singing 'The Only Exception'.
Parawhores FTW. :D
Lunch was highlarious.
We 'paused' at the most unglam moments.
I was the main target actually. Tskkk. Still farny though.
HAHAHAHAHA.
I left after that to fetch Irfan and went home.
And slept.
Feels good to reach home before 3 pm. (:
Wednesday is going to whooosh by...
On another note:
- Farah is sooo cuteee. Teehee.
- I am going to ambush Zan tmr. MUAHAHAHA. >:D
- I DID MY MATH HOMEWORK YAY ME.
- I have to persuade that purple dinosaur to come for Thursdayyy.
- Sleep early tonight!
- FIND MY GAY PINK POODLE SOCKS.
- Write letters to 7 people.
- Convince Cikgu that I love Malay.
- Try to stop people from singing the 'Electromagnetic Spectrum' song.
[NO TIME FOR LOSING COS
We Are The Champions.]
-Pessimist
We Are The Champions.]
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Singing In The Rain.
Monday, April 26, 2010 @ 9:56 PM
Hello.
ONLY 72 HOURS UNTIL THURSDAY.
Wish us luckkk! :D
And thank you to all our awesome fans who bought tickets
To come and support us. (:
Rehearsals today.
I think I need to stop thinking, seriously.
Cos if I think, I'll probably blow.
I forgot to blog about last Friday! )))))):
It was brilliant brilliant brilliant.
Eventhough it was the last concert for sec 4s.
And everybody was crying.
Thank goodness for random hugs and chocolate milk.
Dancity was shuper great too! :D
Good job to everybody who took part in Arts Fest.
I know how hard you worked and I think it was all worth it. (:
HALF DAY TMR! WHOOO.
YAY CEDARIANS WHO ARE SIMPLY SHUPER. :D
Off to write letters now, byeeeeee.
Thursdayyy, here we come! :D
[Nothing on you babyyy...]
-Pessimist
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Struckkkkk.
Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 5:35 AM
Oh god. I'm really confused now. Someone Please Save Me.
Labels: Lala
Cos We Were NEVER In Love.
Sunday, April 18, 2010 @ 7:57 PM
Hello.
Pretty picture Lala!
I changed my phone wallpaper.
Sorry Poorani and Diva! HAHAHAHAHA.
Sheesh I should be sleeping but I feel so ashamed cos I haven't blogged in forever.
GRAH. How do I begin?
FRIDAY WAS AWESOME.
Eventhough the day began a little horribly.
I was late, missed the train, realised too late that Nabilah was in it. LOL.
Rushed to school cos we were supposed to practice.
But Lala was pfssssssshing at somebody. *sigh*
Then I got pissed cos they forgot my name in the morning announcements!
Grrrr. I know it's something small and stupid but still.
Maths, Malay.
Nabilah and Asyikin were debating if it was necessary to crawl to class.
I was like, maybe Cikgu will be too busy talking to Zan aka Tobi. HAHAHAHAHA.
We spent half of the lesson deciding what song to play.
YES, WE ONLY SPENT LESS THAN 60 MIN PRACTISING.
Then there was only 1 mike. Argh.
I don't know if we could be heard.
But somebody made things even better after we performed. GAH.
Thanks so much.
Lessons, lessons.
Choir.
LIT-UP!
We were laughing for 90 min straight.
Everybody was high after that. Actually they were high since 6.30 pm. :D
It was... COOL BEANZ.
HAHAHAHA. Okay.
Brillantest EYD yet.
(:
Off to sleep now.
I shall kill Priscilla Leo for taking advantage of me tmr. (Not in that way!)
OMG I miss Squishy.
Okay, byeee.
[Misfits and Riots FTW.]
-Pessimist
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
MisfitsAndRiots
Saturday, April 17, 2010 @ 10:48 PM
Misfits&Riots!
Lidiya , Alicia , Rachel , Nabilah , Sarah , Farah
WE CAN DO THIS (:
Lidiya , Alicia , Rachel , Nabilah , Sarah , Farah
WE CAN DO THIS (:
Labels: Lala, MisfitsAndRiots
NOM.
@ 4:25 PM
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
Labels: Lala
Turbulent.
Sunday, April 11, 2010 @ 4:55 PM
Hello.
Finally, I get to use the com after oh so long.
But it's only been 3 days!
Shut up you. Do you know how much random funny things I wanted to blog but it had to wait?
Yeah, I do.
Then keep your mouth shut so I can continue.
Yes world, that was my conscience. It's annoying. Really.
Anyway, I just realised something important
I am definitely, 100% sure, utterly confident, so obvious I'm going to type it with my eyes closed,
That I've been PMS-ING over the weekend plus Friday.
I shall narrate the long list of points, evidence and explanations.
Friday, 9th of April 2010
I realised that they lied about Friday. ))):
Jogging became walking.
Thanks to Jeslyn, I spent 5 min sweeping the floor.
I talked with Diva, Nabilah and Rachel until they had to go for touch rugby and dance.
Then I wandered to the library and talked with Sharifah and Diyanah.
I found Kapeela upstairs and acompanied her while she ate.
We had a nice long talk, walking to the bus stop and taking the bus together.
But it wasn't all serious and stuff.
Some guy sitting behind us was singing in a high pitched voice.
We couldn't stop laughing.
All in all, it was a good day.
Saturday, 10th of April 2010
Woke up at 8 am, and just lay in bed. Thinking.
Read some more of 'The Last Song'.
Decided to get up at 10.30 am.
Left the house at 11 am.
Reached school at 11.30 am.
Basically I felt like crap.
I think Sarah is great at giving murderous stares when she wants you to finish chocolate cake.
Went home with Lidiya.
I kept thinking it was 1 pm and she thought it was Friday.
Slacked. Worried about what to wear. Got dressed.
Left the house at 6 pm. I was so preoccupied with talking to A that I grabbed a pair of mismatched socks.
They were both gray. But one had cats on it and the other had poodles. Shuper cool.
I kept imagining "Woof. Meow. Woof. Meow." every time I took a step.
Reached in good time. Sat in the front row. I wish my mum hadn't made me change seats.
I felt like strangling the girl sitting next to me.
She ate during the performance, invaded my space, kept touching me.
And oh yeah, she read my messages!
URGH.
I wanted to jump up and down on her box of doughnuts.
Yes I felt evil. Maybe it's Jeslyn. Or not.
Reached home at 12 am.
Finished 'The Last Song'.
Went to sleep.
And now here I am, waiting for 8 pm.
*sigh*
To _____.
Can't you just stay out of my life?
Go away. Just go away.
Please don't disturb me or anyone I know.
I don't have time to deal with this crap.
Screw you asshole.
Okay, I feel angry. Again.
Bye.
[I 'm just here to break your heart.]
-Pessimist
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist
I Can't Believe I Did That...And Lived.
Thursday, April 08, 2010 @ 8:52 PM
Hello.
OMG IT'S DEAD IT'S DEAD IT'S DEAD.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
MY AWESOME BLOG IS DEAD.
BOO HOO SOB SOB.
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT LALA.
WHENEVER YOU USE THE COM YOU GO FB RIGHT?
DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW. HMPH.
Anyway, we survived yesterday! Wheee.
I can't wait for tomorrow! I think I shall go to school early just to see it.
But if I want to go early I must leave the house early.
Which means I have to wake up earlier.
And I have to sleep earlier.
So I have to finish my homework asap.
Unfortunately, I have to write a persuasive speech about
'My Dreams For Singapore'.
I know what to write but I just don't know how to write it nicely.
GRRRR.
Onto other more awesome stuff.
TODAY WAS SHUPER COOL.
I started the day by running 2.4 km!
I didn't achieve my target, but I'm proud cos I didn't walk AT ALL.
I just kept jogging all the way. (:
And I still got a B. (:
Then then then, I showered during recess.
Man, it was so nice to shower after you perspire like crazy.
(Eventhough Chelsea said I looked like I didn't sweat, HAHAHAHAHA.)
Natalie, En Ching, Asyikin and me were screaming and laughing,
And I think some seniors heard us. HAHAHAHAHA.
Malay was funneh cos I said Cikgu's skirt was BOOMZ.
Cikgu thought BOOMZ meant handsome. O.O
HAHAHAHAHA.
Zan kept me laughing the entire lesson
Cos she wanted to hit some stupid fly.
Crazy.
When Miss Lin came into class for history, we sang her a birthday song.
No, it's not her birthday. We did it randomly for fun. :D
And she said it made her happier. Wheee. (:
CSP was cancelled which made me )))))))):
But choir wasn't that bad.
What happened after choir was simply brillant. HEEE.
I AM SO SMART ATIQAH.
I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
EVENTHOUGH YOU ABANDON ME. :D
My shoulders hurt cos my bag is super heavy today.
URGH. So pain.
Okay I should finish my speech.
And my letters. (:
BYEEEEE.
[Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world
When it's asleep?]
-Pessimist
When it's asleep?]
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
We Gotta Get Down.
Friday, April 02, 2010 @ 10:17 PM
Hello.
I FEEL HYPER BECAUSE...
- I'm watching KIWI smoke the dance floor. HEEE.
- Practice today was awesome^85320991. :D
- I'm so going to win my bet with Rachel Lee.
- Went for a nice walk in the evening.
- Lala updated after eons! (:
- This blog is one year and one day old. 446 posts and counting!
- I just realised that Alicia, Farah, Nabilah, Rachel Lee and Lala are at the top of the list which appears when you want to send a text message. (:
Reminders:
- Reply Umairah's letter.
- Go running, do planks and other crazy exercises.
- DOWNLOAD SONGS ONTO PHONE.
- Pester Lala to post about Olomouc.
- Remind Nabilah about Monday.
- Check with Boon Cheng about Geog homework.
- Actually finish my English speech.
- Ask Poorani to send me that picture. HEEE.
- Write stuff.
Farah, Nabilah, Rachel Lee, Lala and me discovered something today. A LOT OF SONGS REPEAT STUFF.
Which is horribly irritating.
Example?
And I was like Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like Baby, baby, baby noo
Like Baby, baby, baby ohh
One chorus already has the word 'baby' 9 times.
And let's not forget the classic:
Me plus you, I'mma tell you one time
Me plus you, I'mma tell you one time
Me plus you, I'mma tell you one time
One time, one time
The verse hasn't even started and already 5 one times.
Don't even think about the chorus.
Plus, he said he was only going to say it ONE TIME.
Not a million.
ARGH. But I don't hate Justin Bieber.
Not much anyway. HAHAHAHAHA.
Okay, I'm going to practice. Byeeeee.
P.S. I FINALLY WROTE A LONG POST AFTER
A LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG TIME.
(Yes, I was trying to annoy you. HAHAHAHAHA.)
[Love's Not A Competition but I'M WINNING.]
-Pessimist
-Pessimist
Labels: Pessimist, SPAZTICNESS
Those Unsaid (but obvious) Things.
Thursday, April 01, 2010 @ 11:25 PM
Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight
But suffice it to say
We're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep
Watching the day lie down instead
And we are leaving some things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead
We're both pretty sure
Neither one can tell
We seem difficult
What we got is hard as hell
A hundred thousand words could not quite explain
So I walk you to your car And we can talk it out in the rain
And we are leaving some things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead
And we are leaving some things unsaid
I can sing myself to sleep
No more
No more
Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight
In Love With This Song ♥
heartbreak warefare.
@ 8:50 PM
OMG.
DO YALL KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!?!
NO, NOT APRIL FOOLS.
IT'S 1ST APRIL:
THE DATE THIS BLOG WAS MADE! ;D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! (:
HAHA IM BEING SO LAME.
OKAY.
P.S. IVEGOTAFEELINGTHATPEOPLEARESECRETLYREADINGMYBLOG.
I wish I could've stayed back there, In Olomouc.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 @ 10:16 PM
I'm Going Crazy.
Desicions, Desicions.
Confusion.
);
So Lost.
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down