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they think im crayzee
Lala&Pessimist
Lala
190296.
Proud member of VJ Choir (ALTO!)
Pessimist
080796.
The Meridian Stage.
Haig Girls School o8'
Cedar Girls Secondary.
Cedar Choir.
Victoria Junior College (Lala)
Meridian Junior College (Pessimist)
Lala
Music
Paramore
Lupe Fiasco
The Icarus Account
KT Tunstall
Guitars.
Pessimist
Writing
Reading
Running
Poetry
Pierce The Veil
Paramore
Wants!
LAST
UPDATED:26.05.2013
Lala's Wishes :
Watch That Perfect Sunset
Spend more time on my music
Loads of Freddo & Timeout chocolateee!! (:
Own a pet Snow Leopard
Pessimist's Wishes :
Survive 2013
Write more
Become a penguin
God, give me strength.
Monday, June 27, 2011 @ 11:08 PM
Definition of impossible: Trying to get someone to give a fuck.
Everyone seems to expect so much from me, I expect a lot from myself but I do not act on that knowledge. Why?
Simple. I am a lazy fucktard with no self discipline. Somehow it doesn't occur to me that life is not easy, that I have to put in effort, and that I'm wasting my life away. Which is useless. There are people out there who would give their limbs to be where I am, loving family and friends, an education, means to get by and I am comfortable and safe and healthy. And I'm not making the most of it.
Sometimes I think I'm unworthy really. Even in my own eyes and hey I don't mean to sound like a sad sod with no self esteem whatsoever, personally those people annoy me shitless at times, but it's the sad sad truth. I'm given the world and I take the good bits and abandon the rest.
Spilling this because it's been spinning in my head I'm supposed to write on my tumblr but I can't find the words but they have to come out somewhere or I will not sleep tonight.
Destruction is creation I strongly believe in that philosophy and so when they deemed my essay as unworthy of better marks, of which I am all too aware I am capable of, of which a hell of a lot of people simply assumed I would receive, and the ink was burning into my brain: hahaha. So if those words were so unworthy of their marks it is even less so in my mind and it's presence bothered me so I ripped it into two.
The sharp tear kind of registered a little too late and there was an unpleasantly satisfying vindication. Hovered between simple apathy and plain relief. Then I decided that it wasn't enough and throughly maimed the paper into quarters and eighths and twelfths? Consequences were secondary anyway.
Bottom line moral of today's story, you can't force me to give a fuck.
[There's a light and it never goes out.]
Labels: crap, Pessimist